Dithering Idiot

My Surprise Song

Duane totally surprised me tonight with a beautiful Graduation/Mother's Day gift. I know this will probably embarrass him, but I just had to share it!

Download Hey There Elisa

I sure have missed that guy these last four years! Just one more week until graduation... I can't wait!

The Hour Has Come

Despite tomorrow's monumental occasion, there is still much to do. The power lies within each of us to shower our fellow humans with the grace and love of Christ no matter their status in the world. I pray that we all, no matter our political orientation, will be inspired by the events of these last few months and reflect on the following words today and in the days to come:

We are challenged to eradicate the last vestiges of racial injustice from our nation. I must say this morning that racial injustice is still the black man's burden and the white man's shame.

It is an unhappy truth that racism is a way of life for the vast majority of white Americans, spoken and unspoken, acknowledged and denied, subtle and sometimes not so subtle---the disease of racism permeates and poisons a whole body politic. And I can see nothing more urgent than for America to work passionately and unrelentingly---to get rid of the disease of racism.

Something positive must be done. Everyone must share in the guilt as individuals and as institutions. The government must certainly share the guilt; individuals must share the guilt; even the church must share the guilt.

We must face the sad fact that at eleven o'clock on Sunday morning when we stand to sing "In Christ there is no East or West," we stand in the most segregated hour of America.

The hour has come for everybody, for all institutions of the public sector and the private sector to work to get rid of racism.

Source: A Knock at Midnight: Inspiration From the Great Sermons of Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Just a simple trip to the dentist

I had planned our visit to the dentist today at a very strategic time... first thing in the morning. My hope was we wouldn't have to wait long because they couldn't already be running behind. I wanted to finish up quickly and still get Jack to preschool. What I hadn't anticipated is what it would be like to have to get Jack up and get him somewhere on time that early in the morning. The first road block occurred when his "general" shirt (a blue and white striped rugby with a gold emblem on the chest) had not been washed the previous evening as apparently promised by his other mother. Duane negotiated a different striped shirt and got the pants on without too much of a fuss, but then came the infamous shoes and socks. Rarely do we get these pieces of clothing on him without a fight, and this morning was no exception. After extensive negotiations, the cowboy boots that Opa bought were deemed acceptable to all parties involved along with a clause that allowed for the inclusion of a rather tall pair of tube socks, seams adjusted just so.

As fate would have it, this was our first morning of 30-degree weather, so a not-so-simple early morning appointment became even more complicated as we rushed to get a winter coat on Jack. More tears erupted as he tried to get his coat on without crumpling up the sleeves inside. By this point it looked like we were going to be late -- a cardinal sin in my book. I rushed him to the car where he insisted on buckling himself (which I knew he couldn't do) and sure enough, got frustrated and started crying.

Once we finally arrived at the dentist, only 1 minute late somehow, we were all pretty cranky, but I figured he would become much more agreeable. He is usually more compliant for other people, but he continued his reign of grumpiness. After charming the dental tech with his fancy cowboy boots and his astounding knowledge of the animal kingdom, he firmly declined her x-rays. No matter what she tried, he wasn't gonna budge. Once the hygienist came in, he informed her that she was not to use any "spicy" polish on his teeth. She laughed and asked if strawberry would be ok. (I'm not sure she realized who she was up against.) Politely he informed her that would NOT be ok. They finally settled on not using any kind of polish whatsoever on his teeth, and began the procedure. His body tensed up and Jack's fingers spread out and curled up at the first knuckle as if to say, "You're torturing me." After Irene had finished cleaning his bottom teeth, Jack decided he'd had enough. Period. There was absolutely no convincing him otherwise. I even ended up chasing him around the office with grape fluoride foam on my gloved hand only to have him promptly spit it out on me and himself. Fortunately, everyone was very patient and kind to him even when I felt he crossed the line. At one point he looked up at Irene with his arms out, crooked at the elbows, hands cocked and said in a voice that could have come from an 80-year old New Yorker, "And besides, what's takin' so long anyways?"

The Most Beautiful Place in the World

Many of you know how crazy I am about Alaska. Poor Duane hasn't stopped hearing about it for the 18 years he's known me. My sister tipped me off to this great video the other day, and besides being a good song, it was shot in Alaska! This has become my new happy place. I hope it will make you happy, too!

How To Live on $22,200 a Year

It's Blog Action Day '08. The topic is poverty and people around the globe have committed to speaking on the issue in cyberspace. According to the government, my family lives in poverty. The poverty level this year for an American family of 4 has been set at $22,200.

We are somewhat of an anomaly. Our situation is our choice. Being in graduate school, our poverty will end in the near future. Many people do not have such luxury.

It was absolutely off limits to talk about money in the house I grew up in, but I'm going to break that cardinal rule in the hopes that eyes can be opened, greater understanding achieved, and lives changed. Poverty comes in many different shapes, colors, countries and education levels.

Here's how the numbers shake down. Keep in mind, $20,000 a year is comparable to working a $10 an hour job 40 hours a week. Many people aren't that lucky. A full time job at the minimum wage rate of $6/hr. is only $12,000 a year!

Rent  $795

Utilities  $225

Phone/Internet  $130

Insurance (Life, Auto)    $150

Gas    $225

Household (toilet paper, soap, laundry detergent, etc.)    $150

Spending (medical bills, clothes, oil changes, car repairs, eating out, etc.) $225

Food Stamps for Groceries $400

As you pay your bills this month, grocery shop and make trips to your local super retailer, think about these numbers. Could you find a place to live for less than $800 a month that would keep your family safe and provide a good public school environment for your children? Try spending only $400 next month on groceries and consider donating what you save to a local food pantry, many of which are really struggling in this economic climate. Think about how much you spend to fit into the society in which you live. How would it effect your job not to have the clothes you have, the hair style you have or the extra money to go out with co-workers at lunch?

I recently read an article about a family who stopped spending for a month. It was an entertaining article and one that provided some challenges to me about our own spending. And then I got to the shocker. This family saved $2000 in one month! They saved my family's entire salary in just one month! I was amazed at the idea that a regular family could save that much money in one month. The experiment really changed their thinking, so much so that they gave the money away at the end of the month instead of going out and blowing it. It's so easy to get swept away in the capitalistic game of consumerism that sometimes we don't even realize it is taking place. Today's Blog Action Day is a way for all of us to collectively stop and think about poverty and, in contrast, excess.

What does poverty mean to you? How would it feel to live that way? What can you do in your local community to help those who aren't as well off? Poverty seems like an overwhelmingly huge issue, but the solutions can start in very small ways with each of us.

Aftermath of Ike

Ironically, this is what I found in the kids' bathroom just as the outer edge of Ike arrived at our house after much anticipation:

That poor Beluga whale.

It will take weeks to repair the damage done to our Playmobil yacht.

You did WHAT at preschool?!?

After picking Jack up from preschool yesterday we entered the cursory end-of-day conversation...

"Jack, what did you do at school today?"

"We arted."

Fearing that his heightened level of testosterone had indeed taken over complete control of his frontal lobe and I had just missed the all important "F" at the front of that word, I cautiously asked him to tell me again.

"We ART-ED," he said with great EMPH-A-SIS.

Still not quite sure I understood, but not wanting to insult the sometimes fragile psyche that accompanies his exploration of language, I said, "Oooooohhhh."

As if he knew I didn't really know what he was saying, he explained further, "We painted. You know, arted."

And a big wave of relief rushed over me as ART became a verb.

First Grade

Cason started first grade this week. For most parents it's a big transition and adjustment as their child leaves them for an entire day. For some it's probably a welcome respite from the unrelenting nature of raising preschoolers. For our family it meant something entirely different.

Cason is attending first grade at home. Part of me is embarrassed to type this previous sentence. I've been putting off "going public" for some time, fearful of the really terrible things that well-intentioned people can say sometimes. This week is the end of hiding though, and it was amazing.

If someone had told me ten years ago that I would be doing school at home with my child, I would have written them off as a lunatic. Ten years ago I wasn't even sure I wanted children, period. Now I have them all day long. It's been incredibly hard work, none of which seems to fit my natural gifts and abilities, but I think it is those struggles that have made this week special.

I have been humbled, amazed, excited and truly astounded by our first week of school. I know it will not always be like this, but it has been a great start. Much like Cason's first steps and her first words, I was able to be with her during many important firsts this week. It has been a true privilege to witness her working out math problems, reading books, and discussing Bible stories. We've looked at maps, gotten out all of Daddy's passports and talked about other places in the world, learned about how we get water flowing into our houses, learned to count to 100.

I never would have imagined this path for myself -- never in a million years, but I'm thankful that life has taken us in this direction and taught me to savor these beautiful moments that make up our time here on earth.

Cason started first grade this week. For most parents it's a big transition and adjustment as their child leaves them for an entire day. For some it's probably a welcome respite from the unrelenting nature of raising preschoolers. For our family it meant something entirely different.

Cason is attending first grade at home. Part of me is embarrassed to type this previous sentence. I've been putting off "going public" for some time, fearful of the really terrible things that well-intentioned people can say sometimes. This week is the end of hiding though, and it was amazing.

If someone had told me ten years ago that I would be doing school at home with my child, I would have written them off as a lunatic. Ten years ago I wasn't even sure I wanted children, period. Now I have them all day long. It's been incredibly hard work, none of which seems to fit my natural gifts and abilities, but I think it is those struggles that have made this week special.

I have been humbled, amazed, excited and truly astounded by our first week of school. I know it will not always be like this, but it has been a great start. Much like Cason's first steps and her first words, I was able to be with her during many important firsts this week. It has been a true privilege to witness her working out math problems, reading books, and discussing Bible stories. We've looked at maps, gotten out all of Daddy's passports and talked about other places in the world, learned about how we get water flowing into our houses, learned to count to 100.

I never would have imagined this path for myself -- never in a million years, but I'm thankful that life has taken us in this direction and taught me to savor these beautiful moments that make up our time here on earth.

What a family!

This is how the kids looked tonight when we went out to dinner:

We have definitely become one of those "weird" families I used to make fun of. (Yes, Jack is wearing a cape... among other things.)

And the jerk of the month award goes to...

Church signs have long been a pet peeve of mine, but I was absolutely offended and outraged when I saw this one yesterday:

Better to be schizophrenic than to be all alone.

There are so many things wrong with this cute little phrase, it's not even funny... and I really mean that... IT'S NOT FUNNY! It is completely insulting to anyone suffering from mental illness and shows a complete lack of sensitivity on the part of this church.

First off, schizophrenia is not the same as dissociative identity disorder (commonly referred to as multiple personality disorder) which is probably what this sign was alluding to because the two are often confused in the public vernacular.

Secondly, to say that someone with a mental illness is better off than someone who is lonely shows an astounding lack of compassion and understanding for the mentally ill. People with serious mental illnesses like schizophrenia or dissociative identity disorder often end up alone on the streets where they are treated worse than people's pets. They are beaten, raped, sometimes set on fire all because they are easy targets. They have to scavenge for food and sleep in cardboard boxes, all because their brains do not function like yours and mine. Even if they have a loving, supportive family their disease typically alienates them from those who love them. Fortunately this insensitive church is located in the wealthy suburbs, so there shouldn't be too many mentally ill homeless people walking around getting offended by their sign... but that doesn't make it okay.

Christians were the first to start hospitals and to care for people with leprosy when no one else would come even close to these fellow human beings. It absolutely disgusts me that as one of the wealthiest nations on earth, we allow those who are in a more vulnerable situation than ourselves to sleep on the streets and fend for themselves because it is too difficult to care for them. American Christians should see mental illness as today's new leprosy -- a disease full of stigma, suffering and loneliness. And American Christians should see mental illness as a beautiful opportunity to care for the forgotten in our society, something Christ set the example for in the Gospels. The last thing the church needs to be doing is making light of those who suffer most in our society.

For the real truth on schizophrenia, check out this site or watch this video: